You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
