Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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