no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize