Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
