This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
