Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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