I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
