When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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