i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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