My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Im just a social blackout drinker.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize