At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
