who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
