I think I am morally bankrupt
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Are we still banned from the library?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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