No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
it was like eating out sand paper
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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