How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Semen is not good for contacts.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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