do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
