i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
