smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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