we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
