Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize