Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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