fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
