I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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