It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
