Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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