You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
