He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
do herpes really smell.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She needs sedatives and a leash
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
