My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
