Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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