So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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