I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
