it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
