last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
