Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize