from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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