I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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