Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
