get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I think I sprained my soul last night
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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