Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
