On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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