i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
