My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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