I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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