What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
