And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I would fuck him just for his dog
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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