like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
