They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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