Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
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