In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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