This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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