don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
