She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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