They should really pass out barf bags in church
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
