i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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