Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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