my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
