I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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