I cannot find my penis.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Floor bacon is actually really good
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
