Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
