who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
don't judge my taste in strippers
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
