Don't you send me to vm
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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