I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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