What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize