dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
this just has baby written all over it
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
