She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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