And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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