please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize