I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
That's how pantless uber rides happen
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
