I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
