dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize