You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
