I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
