I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
