I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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