I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
