you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
