Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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