Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
