One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize