Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
