If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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