I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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