I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize